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Remembering my almost three-year old back when she was just an almost-two year old.

This is at her early birthday celebration with family in Atlanta.

Christmas festivities and another early-birthday celebration.

This year, Daddy's taking her on a lunch date, we're taking her to Build-a-Bear and Grandma and Grandpa are taking her out to eat and to ride the train and carousel at the mall.

Happy early-birthday to my almost three-year-old.

Heard at our House

Eden talks all the time.

I'm not exaggerating.

When she's not asking questions, she's just talking about her surroundings.  When she's not doing either of those, she's talking to Arielle or "reading" a book out loud.  When she's not doing any of those things, this is what she does.

This was after she had finished her lunch and was drinking some water.  Arielle was playing by herself and I was checking my mail.
I hear her creating a story/dialogue with herself.  And, trust me, it was much much longer, I just didn't start trying to transcribe it until the end.
There are some randomly inserted nonsense words when she couldn't think of any English words to say at that second
and it should be read without pauses.
I hesitate to add punctuation because it sure didn't sound like it had any.

"She said, 'I wanna cookie.'  Momma said, 'Sure you wanna cookie a shush?'  She said 'No, no, nonono no messes, messes. That right. Momma said no messes in here.'
And the dialogue stops. but the talking continues...
"Round, round she was going to the carnibal. Round to a rush too.
Now singing:
"run away, run away, run away."
 Talking:
"Look.  here's a booger shasass.  It hurt me.  Drink, drink. Uh oh, we're drinking closer away."
 Random noises made with lips and mouth...


Chuck says schizophrenics must have two-year-old brain patterns.  I would be inclined to agree.

What I wonder is...
When I am giving her a big, important, serious talk about something or other that she has done or sharing or being kind... is that what is going on in her head the whole time?
I bet so.
arg.


Newsflash!  After Eden woke up from her nap and was eating snack, she started to do the same thing again, but informed me that the bunny rabbits on her shirt were talking to each other.  Makes much more sense now.

All I Want for Christmas

is the beautiful family I already have.

I'm just too proud not to tell you that you must admire my triple victory roll hair-do.  Click on the pic above for a good look.  I was trying to be authentically 40's since we were going with a mid-century, Norman Rockwell feel.  I was so happy my hair cooperated with me for the photo shoot.

I absolutely love it when I can actually see the image that I imagined become a reality.  My friend Jana of Happy Times Photography made it happen for us.  

This one is probably my favorite, although not the one I chose for our Christmas cards.  (I wouldn't want to give that away!)

The Invisible One

A friend of mine, Amy Norris, who has a beautiful and funky clothing line for kids and a down-to-earth-blog about her mom adventures, posted a link to another blog that I just had to repost.

Here it is.


And my addendum is my constant struggle to "seek ye first..."

Heard at our House

Chuck was putting Eden to bed while on vacation at the beach.
She had woken us up the night before specifically calling for him, which is a rarity even though he puts her to bed every night.  It's Mommy she usually calls for.
She had called him the night before only to say that she wanted to see the ocean.  So, Chuck was putting her to bed as usual, but trying to explain to her/convince her not to call him and wake him up in the middle of the night.  He was explaining that Daddy likes to sleep.  Then he paused.

"Well, Daddy has woken Mommy up in the middle of the night sometimes." (He talks in his sleep, sometimes to me.... and sometimes he sits up as well.)
"I guess you waking me up is just my just desserts for waking Mommy up.  But still don't call us in the middle of the night and wake Mommy up.  I don't know what Mommy did to deserve being woken up.  I guess that just comes along with being Mommy."

All this was explained to Eden, but overheard by me.  And I thought it was very sweet.  In a way.

Pictures of Birthday Festivities

Birthday Girl

Happy Birthday to my sweet, special girl who has made our family bigger and better.  This first year made me remember why I don't like infants and why I really love babies from about 9-12 months.  I might have another one if they would pop out about 9 months old.
Here's to you Arielle; the baby of the family, the little sister that is helping to teach Eden the meaning of love, the sweet face that makes me realize that I need to give BOTH of my girls a chance to enjoy being kids a little more, the inquisitive eyes that can talk to me so clearly even though you are already saying some words.  Here's to my baby, my (probably) last baby, my Elly Belly, my snuggle bunny, my roly-poly one-year-old.

10 Days 'til One!

Heard at our House

Me: "Eden, are you blowing a kiss?"

Eden: "No.  I not blowing kiss.  I blowing a HUG!"





Me upon seeing Eden riding her stick horse around the kitchen: "What are you pretending to be?"  I was wondering if she would make the connection to a cowboy since she knows they wear big hats and ride horses.

Eden: "I a horsegirl!"

Of course.



While in a department store, she asked to push Arielle in the buggy and then found it to be difficult to steer.

Eden: "Oh, Mommy, this shopping cart is terrible!"

First Words

Wha'chu talkin' 'bout?

Some of the jibber-jabber Eden gets caught up in makes me wonder if they've been reading passages of the Bible with anscestries to the kids while I'm in bible study at Pinelake Church.
For example:
In the midst of a whole lot of other nonsense, I hear,
"...Jacob and Harley and Orly and Hallah and Aisley and Daisa and Shallah, Hava, Nayah, Haman, Ming-Ming, Baisha, Bala, Talah or Dolce


but, Joseph and God..."  and the story continued.

In another random moment, she told me, "Jesus helps Dolce to come and live in her heart.... with the Wonder Pets."
You just never know what she's going to come up with.
By the way, all this was not just said, but sung into her microphone as she paced around in circles in the sunroom.

A Conversation

"Sara.... Sara!"

"Call me 'Mama' please, not 'Sara.'"

"No, I call you 'Sara.'"

"Eden, don't argue with me.  That means when I say something, don't say something else back to me.  Just say 'Yes Ma'am,' ok?"

No response.

"Eden, say 'Yes Ma'am.'"

"Yes Ma'am!"

"Do you even know what you're saying 'Yes Ma'am' about?  Do you know what arguing is?"

"Yes. I want some chocolate."

Arielle Plays Peekaboo

Do You Hear What I Hear?

I've been drilling Eden about listening.
Half the time, she has no idea what I've just said to her.  She'll ask a question.  I'll answer her.  She'll ask the question again.  Sometimes, I'll just tell her again (although that's getting more rare as I get more tired of this process). Sometimes, I'll ask her what I just said and she'll sheepishly tell me.  So then I ask her why she feels the need to ask a question she clearly knows the answer to.  I just get a look.  Sometimes, I'll ask her what I just said and she has no idea.  That's where the listening lecture begins.

Like this morning, for example.

I told her she had to wait until Arielle was done with her milk before I gave her breakfast.  I could tell she was very anxious because she kept hovering around Arielle in the highchair and giving me updates on her progress.
She let me know Arielle was all done and I told her she still needed to wait because I was going out of the room to do something and would be right back.  Next thing I hear is her saying, "All done Arielle."  I knew that meant she was taking her bottle away.  I quickly walked back in to stop her, told her to give back the bottle and asked her what I had just said before I waked out.
No answer.

"I'll tell you what I said, Eden.  I told you to WAIT for me to come back.  I didn't tell you to take Arielle's bottle away."

Fast forward 10 minutes later in the bathroom.

Eden asks me if she can look at herself in the mirror on the back of the door.  I say, "Sure you can.  Just push the door to where you can see the mirror."
She puts her hands behind her back and looks at me, asking the question again with her eyes.  Don't you think she wasn't.  I have a clear window to her brain and almost everything that goes through it.  It's Mom telepathy.

"Eden, can you tell me what I just said to you?"

"Don't push the door."

sigh. See what I mean?

Tickle Monster

Eden did something today or said something... I don't even remember what, that irked me... more than irked me... made me steamed.  I mean really steamed.  And in the moment of wanting to throw something or kick something, I decided to attack her.  I let out a Mama bear roar and then...
I attacked her viciously with tickling.  I tickled her and tickled her.  I took pleasure in seeing her crumple helplessly to the ground, incapable of giving me any impish looks, defiant stares or devilish grins.  Incapable of anything but uncontrollable twitching, snorting and writhing.
Then I stopped, my desire to maul something sated.

Later today, I got that "look" on my face because I was getting to be an unhappy camper again.  She was doing something or saying something that was getting on that same last nerve.
She recognized the look and asked:

"Mommy, you going to tickle me now?"

Waaaaaaait . . .

Eden came up to me just now with her snack tupperware container that she discovered in her toy box.  She asked me to put cereal in it.  Since she just finished breakfast a half hour ago, I said no.  I told her she could pretend there was cereal in it.
She asked me to put Kix in the cup.  Of course, I said no.
She tried another tactic.

Eden: "Wait for to put Kix in the cup."  This is her way of saying, "What you really mean isn't that I can't have them at all, but that I just have to wait a few minutes, right?"

Mommy:  "No.  I'm not putting anything in that cup any time soon."

Eden, nodding her head to help the cause:  "Wait for Kix."

Mommy:  "Nope.  You can pretend."

For her final attempt, she placed the top of the cup over my eye, pressed it against my head and very purposefully said, "Waaaaaaaaaait for Kix..."  She left the cup there to allow the implanted thought to travel through my eye deep into my brain.  Then, a few seconds later, she took the cup off my head and looked at me.

I looked at her.

Sorry honey, you're no jedi.

Just Some Pictures I Love of a Girl I Love

Loving Our Children

Parts of this post are too good not to share.  It's about parenting teenagers, but some of it I can certainly take and use immediately.
Here is some of it:


Our children are the fruit of our best love -- am I making them my best friends? 

Their hearts came into being in the circle of our wooing -- why do I ever stop wooing their hearts?

Each child came to us directly from the presence of God and a parent's daily work is to lead the child back from whence she came --- back into the presence of God. To simply keep inviting the child into the transformative presence of God -- to live before Him ourselves.

For only the Spirit of God can take a child and shape him into a whole and holy person. My parenting cannot do this work. I forget this. I realize parenting is complicated with seasons necessitating instruction, admonition, intervention... but I wonder --

Is my work as a parent less about directing and more about being a friend who's a spiritual director?

It's our tender love that woos them back to His.





Quotes good enough to put in books, or maybe on walls... at the very least, to keep in the forefront of my heart.

Mimicry

Eden is in the "I want..." phase.  She says "I want..." in front of everything and will sometimes start the sentence with those two words and not even know how she's going to end it.  She pauses and thinks of a way to end it.  It wears me out quickly.  We are talking a lot about the meaning of contentment.


Daddy:  I want to bring a hat to the beach next year for me to wear.

Eden:  I want my hat on.

Mommy:  (mimicking Eden) I want to say "I want" in front of everything I hear.

Eden: I want everything I hear.


See?

Signing

Too Soon

We went to Chick-fil-a for lunch today, or, as Eden says it, Chick-a-way.  We saw some friends who mentioned they had just come from Chuck E. Cheese.  Nothing gets past Eden and she asked me on the way home from lunch if we could go to Chuck E. Cheese.  I told her that was a good idea, because we have tokens that need to be used, but that we probably wouldn't go today.
When we got home, she asked if we could go to Chuck E. Cheese after nap.
"No, honey, I said we're not going today."

She looks forlorn and says, "It's too soon."

"Ok, whatever you say."

When I come to get her after her nap, she says, "Good afternoon, Mommy.  It's time to go to Chuck E. Cheese."

"Remember, I said we're not going to Chuck E. Cheese today?"

"It's too soon.  It's too soon, Mommy."

"Sure, if it helps you to think about it that way..."

You have to agree with whatever she says.  However she's worked it out in her brain is sometimes the only way she can grasp it at that moment.  As much as I would like to explain reasons for everything, sometimes, it's just impossible.  Either her inability to understand makes it impossible or my inability to think of any explanation that even makes sense to me makes it impossible.
In related news: I can now say that the words "because I said so" have officially crossed my lips, more because I was demanding an explanation of myself at that moment than because my daughter was actually asking for one.

Perfect

When I was 14, I had an assignment in Literature to write about the perfect age.  Here is what I wrote.

I think the perfect age is one year old.  New things meet your every glance.  Little wandering fingers feel new and exciting textures. Roaming eyes see dazzling objects, each one the perfect play toy.  A small nose twitches at each delicious aroma and tiny feet help to seek out the source.  New and wonderful sounds come from every direction: a lawn mower, leaves crackling beneath a jogger's feet, water running in a sink, the bark of a dog or even a toilet flushing.  All the world's a toy... to a one-year-old.


I got a sticker on my paper and a 97%.  Yes, a sticker.  It was a chicken holding an egg and it said "eggccellent work." I was home schooled. Don't judge.

A Minute With Me

"AAAAAAHHhhhhh whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...."

This is how Eden cries now.


and this is what I am hearing right now.
Let me fill you in.

I am sitting with Arielle while she has some tummy time.  Eden asked to play "doctor" and gave me the stethoscope, wanting me to listen to her heatbeat.  I took the stethoscope and told her I would love to play with her.  She laid on the floor and decided to play "nap time" instead and asked me to go get a blanket.
I told her she could go grab a blanket and I would put it on her... and so it began.

"NOOOOoooooooo  a mamawhoa, whoa, whoa!  I wanna play!"

"I'm not going to go grab your blanket right now, but if you bring it to me, I'll put it on you."

"AAAAAHhhhhhh, no, no, no, whoa, whoa.  I want the blanket on!"

"I'll gladly put it on you if you bring it to me."  By the way, she's brought it to me MANY times before.

Continued and escalating crying.

"Ok, if you would like to cry for a while, you need to go sit in the crying chair."

Still crying.. "No I don't want to sit in crying chair!"

"Well, it would be better than standing in the corner for whining, which is really what you're doing right now."

The mention of standing in the corner sends the volume of the crying up and her little tushy straight to the chair.

While she's sitting in the chair, she's crying and saying, "I wanna sit in crying chair!  I wanna sit in crying chair."  I guess she's still afraid I'll change my mind and put her in the corner.

"That's fine Eden.  I'm not stopping you from sitting there, so sit."

Well, she must have misunderstood the "I'm not stopping you" part or something, because that produced another shriek, followed by even louder screaming and crying.

This girl baffles me.

After a few more minutes, she calmed down and stopped crying and I told her she could get out.

What does she do??  She stays there and starts crying again!  "I wanna blanket Mommy.  I wanna blanket on me!"

I am having dejavu.  "Eden, you are welcome to get out of the chair and go and get your blanket from your room."

And it continues.

Now Arielle needs to eat.  Thank you very much for sharing my day.  This moment in the life of a frustrated Mom and ever more baffling two-year-old brought to you by....
oh, wait, I don't have any sponsors.  I'm not getting paid for this.
I'll just say it was brought to you by Juicy Juice, generic formula and the letter "W"  for "whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa..."

Losing It : Progress is Progress

My last goal of weighing 125 for this past weekend's festivities was not reached.  Jillian and I didn't have as many dates as I would have liked due to getting our house ready to put on the market.  There were people inside and outside our house almost every day for the past couple weeks and, for one reason or another, it's just been hard to workout.  The good news is, I didn't gain any and I actually managed to lose one pound.
Holding steady at 128 and hoping to make it down to 125 before the beach.  We're headed to Destin, Florida in about 3 weeks and now that the house is on the market, hopefully I can buckle down and knock a few more pounds off.

Oh boy. . .

This is going to be harder than I thought.

On a typical day, Eden takes all her toys and strews them around her room.  I was ready for that.  It takes all of 1 minute to throw them all back in the bottom drawer of her dresser.
Today, the first day our house is on the market, she takes 3/4 of the wipes from the last package of wipes left in the house and wads them up on a shelf. I probably would have left the wadded up wipes there not realizing I needed to look for them except that she brought one to me to show me.  Can you imaging the buyers coming through the house and seeing a wad of wipes?  Even though they were clean, one wouldn't generally assume so.  ew!

I am suddenly more than extremely aware of how much Eden undoes the tidying I try to do.  I put the toys (these are toys she rarely touches) back in the bin in our room.  I leave for two minutes to put some clothes in the laundry, only to return and find toys out of the bin and on the floor.

I drape her blanket sweetly over her crib and set her teddy bear beside her pillow.  Typically, she plays with the two dolls and three blankets we keep out in the living room.  I return to her room minutes later to put away some clothes.  The blanket is on the floor (RIGHT NEXT TO THE CRIB which means she just pulled it down and walked away!) and the teddy bear has been dug out through the slats.  Sigh.  The pillow that usually stays on her rocking chair is on the floor to boot.

New strategies needed.

About Birth, Naturally

I love a birth story.  Mine are so special and meaningful that I now really love hearing others talk about their experiences bringing life into the world.
I had both of my girls without any pain medication.  I had pitocin about 24 hours into labor with my first and nothing but fluids through my IV with my second.  I do not plan on having a third and I'm really not sure if I did get pregnant again whether or not I would consider an epidural.  I'm pretty sure that, even though I would not really be looking forward to the depth of pain I have now already twice experienced, I would probably still be just as nervous about getting an epidural as I was the first two times.  My fear of what can go wrong with an epidural played a large part in driving me toward a natural birth.  I allowed myself to reconsider it as an option the second time, but still ended up preferring the pain over the unknown of the epidural.
My friend Ashley recently had her third child and, like me, had already had two natural births.  She allowed herself the option of an epidural for her third and has now experienced both sides of the coin, which many women cannot claim.  I have gotten a little bit of her story firsthand, but was so excited to see this entry on Facebook where she writes in better detail her feelings and convictions about her birth experiences.  If you're as interested in that kind of thing as I am, you can read her story below.

Lots of people have been asking me about my perspective on birth lately. They have been wondering why I chose to have an epidural during my third birth after having two previous natural births and also what the difference is, since most people only have experienced one way or the other. I thought I would write down my answers to the questions and my thoughts about it for anyone who is curious.

Why have natural birth in the first place? Choosing to have a natural birth is such a personal decision. Everyone has their reasons to have (or not have) a natural birth. I usually answer this question with another question: Why does anyone run a marathon? Why does anyone sky dive? Why does anyone climb a mountain? I wanted to have a natural birth because I was always interested in and curious about birth. I wondered what it would be like/feel like. I appreciated the process of birth and was amazed by the miracle that it is. I wanted to see what I was made of: How much can I take? How strong am I, physically, mentally, and emotionally? What does real pain actually feel like? I wanted to do it for connection: connection with my husband in the form of a (positive) trauma bond; connection with other women, now and from the past when they didn't have epidurals; connection with my baby who is experiencing the rawness of birth; connection with God, who promised I can do all things, who promised He would give me nothing I couldn't handle. I knew that having a natural birth was my best chance for avoiding a C-section or other interventions/complications of birth, and I was desperate for a good birth for reasons other than the norm. There were spiritual reasons, too; right or wrong, I was convicted by the fact that my husband would be spending his life fulfilling the curse of Adam (to work the "fields"), so I felt somewhat obligated to experience, at least once, Eve's punishment as well (to have "greatly increased pain in childbirth"). I also found out, after the fact, another spiritual aspect of the experience was that I was in complete awe of the choice Jesus made to go to the cross, after feeling a little bit of what real pain is like. Natural birth appealed to my sense of adventure; I wanted to have an odyssey. I had also heard of the amazing natural high that one gets after birthing naturally and I wanted to (and did) experience it. It lasted for weeks the first time, and warded off any baby blues that might have otherwise been there. I had also heard that birthing naturally helps you "turn on mothering" easier (I figured I needed all the help I could get) and breastfeed easier, due to the hormones released during labor and birth, and success in these two things were extremely important to me.

Why have an epidural after you've already done natural twice? The same reason everyone else gets an epidural. It hurts!! And, no, it doesn't get less painful each time...easier and faster, maybe, but not less painful. I was also feeling myself getting gripped with fear about the birth, due to a less than ideal birth experience with my second birth, and I felt I had to plan an epidural birth in order to let go of the fear. After my second birth, I swore to myself (and others present) that I would never have natural birth again unless I was in a better setting for natural birth, like home, a birth center of some kind, or at least a natural-friendly hospital (which doesn't exist in Mississippi). I also swore off natural birth unless I was to be surrounded by doulas, midwives, or at least other women who had birthed naturally (few to none of this exists here in Jackson MS). I was so tired of fighting to the death for my natural births and having people stare at me like "Why, you idiot?" while I was trying to focus on getting through a contraction, to still just be hooked up to pitocin AFTER the baby was out to-what?-deliver the placenta? Because that's hospital protocol?? (Btw, after working so hard to birth naturally, it sucks when they hook you up to pitocin and kill your birth high. Don't EVEN get me started.) I had also been having multiple dreams about having my baby (like, the actual birth), and in the dreams there was no pain or struggle of any kind. I'm a big believer in dreams and that some of them can be telling you something or explaining something, so I took it as a hint that this is the direction I should go. Also, with two other very small children plus Justin working like a dog all the time, especially during my entire 3rd trimester when birth preparation is important, I just didn't feel like Justin and I got to get prepared for, let alone even talk about, the upcoming birth. I wanted a free pass. A get-out-of-jail-free card, so to speak. A freebie. And I felt fine about it, since the reasons that I had a natural birth in the first place didn't really apply anymore: mothering has been turned on and locked in the "on" position; breastfeeding almost couldn't fail if I tried after over 3 years experience with my two other children; I had climbed my mountain, jumped out of my plane, run my marathon, etc; and I felt confident that my body was experienced enough at birth to be able to birth with an epidural without any other interventions (like narcotics or pitocin or episiotomy, etc).

What is the difference? There is absolutely no comparison. Apples to Oranges, people! Bad birth vs. good birth? No! Birthing naturally is a wonderful experience. The difference is having to labor vs. NOT having to labor at all! I'm telling you naturals that laboring with an epidural is like sitting here typing on the computer...there IS no labor. Whereas, feeling one's labor is actually really hard work, intense, pretty much indescribable. It's just a totally different experience.

Did I like the epidural? I liked not feeling the pain and not having to struggle and work through the labor. I did not like getting the epidural. It was just as scary as I thought it would be; it seemed so unnatural to be getting a procedure done when there was no medical problem, and it felt really weird. I also felt funny not having complete control over my body and having ports and things going into me from everywhere (the previous two times, I didn't even have an IV drip or monitors, so I was free to roam). And I hate needles...especially ones that go into your back. But, again, it was a wonderful experience to be able to sleep through centimeters 6-10 and then be completely mentally aware during pushing.

Do I wish I had had an epidural with the first two? No. All three births have been wonderful and memorable in their own ways. However, if I had my wishes, I would have had an epidural with my second birth and gone natural with this one because the hospital I was in this third time had a better bathtub and my water wasn't broken from the beginning (labor hurts more after the water is broken). I felt like I could have done it again once I reached my goal of getting to 5, but I didn't want to be fickle, and I had made my mind up not to change my mind about the epidural once I got there.

Am I going to have an epidural next time? Everyone assumes that I will now be an epidural convert, but I would say that now that I've had a little break, I will be more ready to face another natural birth next time (IF I'm back in Searcy or in some other birth-friendly hospital; Mom would never let me have a home birth). I don't promise anyone anything, because it's not about proving anything to anyone, but time will tell.

The Bravest Affair

As we have just recently passed the 5 year mark as husband and wife, my mind has been filled with thoughts about longevity, commitment, promises and integrity.
This is an amazing post that I wanted to share with all of you.  Please read.  It's not very long, but it's very deep, very true and very encouraging in it's honesty.  You will be touched, whether married for 50 years or just considering it in the future.
The Bravest Affair a Woman Can Have

Giving Daily

wow.

I bet all of us could do a version of this.  Giving is good for us.  We should all do it daily.  The challenge has been presented.

Call me Sherlock

Clues my eldest daughter is about to go poo:

I hear the door to her room close.

She walks in the room where I am to say, "buh bye!"

I walk into the room that she's in and she says, "buh bye!"

She gets a look (kind-of a sudden far off look) on her face, looks slowly around at everyone in the room, ducks her head and leaves.

Clues my eldest daughter does NOT need to/will not go poo:

She requests to go sit on the potty.

She says, "poopy? change diaper?"

She asks to get out of playpen time because of poopy.

Don't dare be obvious or do anything that makes sense, Eden, please. That would just make it too easy on me.

Re-purpose

Great ideas need to be remembered and this is one way for me to remember them when the time comes. Sorry if this doesn't apply to you in the least, but if you don't have a crib, maybe you can make something else into a bench. You never know.

We have this exact crib, I think, and I thought this was a great idea to continue it's life after the baby has left it. It's got "good bones" as they say and might even be fun to paint and distress or something fun like that....

Great idea from Whimsy Smitten's blog.
And a different take on it here at Tater Tots and Jello.

Talkin' up a storm

Wad or Fold?

Just in case your grandmother didn't teach you...

How To Fold A Fitted Sheet

Losing It : The Trend Continues

My last weight loss update was in April (click here to refresh your memory) and it was rather vague.  I've decided I'm going to give out details now.  Firstly, so I can look back and appreciate my progress without having to keep all these numbers in my already crammed brain.  Secondly, because I'm kinda proud of myself and think I have some bragging rights.  Sorry if you disapprove.  Don't read on, then.

Ok, for those of you who continued to read, here are the stats:

Pre-Eden weight: 116
At 42 weeks: 165

Pre-Arielle weight: 126
At 39 weeks: 160

First goal: Feel good better about myself by summer and see that I'm making progress.
Accomplished.

Second goal:  Buy a fantastic dress and feel good about the way I look in it for a family wedding in June.
Accomplished, thanks to Jillian Michaels and Belk.

Third goal:  Don't gain weight over vacation and wear a bikini.
Accomplished, although I was very uncomfortable about my belly in (or out of, as the case may be) the bikini.

Fourth goal:  Break the 130 pound barrier.
Most recently accomplished!

Current weight: 129

Next goal: 125 by the end of July for Chuck's high school reunion.

Raising Godly Tomatoes

I've just now been doing some reading about parenting on this site and, after only about 10 minutes, became totally engrossed.  It's hard for me to pull away, but I had to share this letter from a reader to the creator of the site.  The reason I wanted to share is because I thought it was such a pivotal piece of the disciplinary puzzle.  If you know our family, you know we're pretty strict.  I'm constantly trying to walk the line of complete intolerance for sin, down to the smallest infraction, while still making sure my daughter feels encouraged, loved and secure.  I'm also concerned about suppressing or stifling feelings she has... just to get the "right" response on the outside.  I want to teach her how to correctly handle her emotions, not pretend they don't exist because they're unacceptable to Mommy.
This letter addresses some of that concern:

Untamed Whining Leads to Misery
Dear Elizabeth,

I never allowed my children to whine and I make no exception for my grandchildren. I simply found it unbearable. Now I see a far better reason than my personal irritation, to disallow such behavior.

The best reason is that a whining, pouting, tantruming child is truly miserable, a fact that sunk in recently when I spent a day with a friend and her two-year-old grandson. What an experience! That child whined for everything...first time...every time. "Just-on-the-verge-of-tears" whining, was his habitual day-long demeanor. He was truly miserable.

So now I correct more for the sake of the children's own happiness than because I find them irritating. Now, if I swat a grandchild's bottom for pouting after a reprimand, and say, "No pouting. Play and have a good time", I am doing it to render the child's life joyful. I am setting up this child for future success and happiness by consistently helping him to reject and transcend the frustrations and anger that will poison his future paths.

Correcting behavior does not drive a child to bury or deny his feelings. Rather, he learns he has a choice regarding those things he will think and act on. One cannot think good thoughts and smile while stewing and sulking in anger. Try it.

Another major reason I discipline pouting is because every minute of pouting, whining, and rebellion is a minute outside of God’s desire for us, and of happiness lost. In correcting my grandchildren for this, I am teaching them to do as we are told in Philippians 8:8-9: "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." I am teaching my grandchildren to dwell on, think about and ponder, what is good; knowing that their reward will be genuine, radiant joy.

Yours truly,
Sandra, mother of five, grandmother of ten

Portraits!

My mom is really a fantastic studio photographer.  We are sooooooo blessed to have the opportunity to get professional pictures of our girls so often.
You may or may not know that we have a Tiny Treasures grouping of photos on our wall (I can't find the picture I took of it right now...) from when Eden was about 6 months old.  I have been waiting with baited breath for Arielle's turn so that I could have my two girls next to each other.  I'll take a picture for you when they're both up.
We got to have that photo session while we were on vacation for the last two weeks and I was able to pick my favorites for the Tiny Treasures frame and was sent home with a disc of all the pictures to enjoy.  Do you know how much money photographers charge for all that?!!  Talented family is a treasure.

Here are a couple I didn't choose, but they are just too cute not to be enjoyed somewhere.

Splish Splash

Wal-Mart trip today provided a chance to buy a bin whose purpose will become a place to corral trash in the van. I'm trying to start off organized this time and help myself keep it clean.

I read somewhere recently that it was really easy to clean your baby in the sink instead of in one of those baby tubs.

With these two random events, I came up with... bathtime in the bin in the sink before my big ol' baby is too chunky to fit anymore.

It turns out it was a charming photo op because she could sit up by bracing her feet on the end of the bin.
Here are the results...

Personal time

Eden loves the rain. She wanted to go out in it this afternoon during the storm.
"Put shoes on go outside see the rain?"
I didn't have access to a pair of shoes for myself because the baby was sleeping in our room and I also expected her to awaken any minute and didn't want to have to mess with a very wet two-year-old and a crying, hungry baby at the same time. All that to prove I wasn't just being a crumudgeon for telling her, "no." Or maybe you still think I should have let her go. Oh well.

She quickly changed the subject and said she wanted to sit on the potty. I asked her if she might like to sit on the potty and "see the rain." And she said she would.

Unfortunately, the tinkling of the rain did not encourage some tinkling in the potty.

On Mothering

I had to repost this post from Crap I've Made, a blog I don't religiously follow, but enjoy when I remember to check it. I love her creative spirit and the gusto with which she seems to approach mommyhood and life in general. I hadn't kept up with her recent posts and just discovered this gem. It was a Mother's Day post, but it's perfectly aligned with what I've struggled with ever since becoming a mommy and I thought it deserved some attention.
Go read for yourself.

Arielle Eating . . . Sort-of

This was the first time Arielle had some banana mush mixed with her cereal. She wasn't really responding favorably and I thought it should be captured for all to see. Eden was already begging for some because she heard me tell "Ayow" it was banana, then when she saw the video rolling, she couldn't resist joining the fun and also adding a performance of "Twinkle Little Star." Careful, it gets loud.

If you happen to know the sign for "cereal" you might be able to catch Eden doing it subtly as she asks for it.

Also as an aside, watching the video made me realize that it was a good thing for me to feed Eden the same mush to prove to you it wasn't nearly as awful as Arielle makes it look.... :D

A Bright Idea?

I didn't make it very far in breastfeeding, but if I had, I think I would have definitely prefered the traditional nursing cover over this "momtrapreneur" product.

The first line in the description on the blog where this was advertised is, "No matter if you are at home or in public, most women while breastfeeding like to do so either in private or while being discreet."

Um, I don't think a giant sombrero with a brightly colored brim on my baby's head is discreet. Just my opinion.

Would you use this?

Brain Damage

Bill Cosby with Mother's Day sentiments.

So funny!

Tidbits

A bit about me and, specifically, me as a mom.

I stole some of these questions from the blog linked at the right -------->

My city: I live in Jackson, Mississippi, but (and I never thought I would say this) my city is Atlanta.

I've been a mom for two years and four months.

The best thing I learned from my own mother is the importance of injecting a worldview according to Scripture into every activity, from the very beginning.

Favorite mommy moment: seeing or causing laughter in either of my girls.

Describe motherhood in one word: Can I please have more than one? I'd like to say educational because there's really soooo much to learn, about parenting, about my girls, about my husband, about myself AND I'd like to also say touching because so many, many parts of me have been touched that I was unaware of before.

I would feel lost without my GPS in my purse or car. (quite literally)

I could not live without my baby playpen in my house.

I keep my sanity by complaining to God (sometimes called praying) and having playdates.

My favorite part of the day is lunch time. It's just before naps and everyone is usually content.

I Hate Mosquitoes

Why do I bother to put perfume on in the morning on a pretty day? I have not yet learned that I will probably be out on my back porch later, watching my toddler frolic in the yard and therefore, be substituting the smell of Tropical Fresh OFF for my perfume's scent.

A Merry Heart

Go Dogs!

Shoulda, Coulda, Wooda

I should have knocked on wood...

Arielle - 5 months and sleeping

I think we've finally broken through. I write this wondering if I should knock on wood, throw salt over my shoulder and wear something green (it might help) to be sure I'm not jinxing things.

Arielle has been sleeping from about 8 pm to 6 am without waking us in the middle of the night. I don't know if she wakes up or not, but she's not crying loudly if she is waking up.

It's only been three or four nights and she has had a three night spell in the past where she slept though the night and then stopped again... but I feel like this is really for real this time.

I still don't like getting up before 7 am (really, before 8 am) but having to get up in the middle of the night for the last 5 months, give or take, has made me appreciate the opportunity to sleep from 10:30 pm to 6 am straight.

I am glad for coffee, though...

and a coffee maker...

and a microwave to reheat the coffee because I get distracted with my babies before I can drink it all.

My Baby

A friend of mine recently experienced a miscarriage. I read her story on her blog yesterday. I cried. I'm feeling the tears welling again now.

I don't think about my little one very much or very often. There isn't room enough in my brain... nor would it be healthy. Besides, I know he's being well taken care of. I do wish I could've met him here on earth, but then there's this weird reality that if I had met him, I would've never met Arielle. I can see where the idea of alternate time-lines and simultaneous realities etc. came from. It's only natural to wonder how it would be to experience BOTH options.

I keep a pin in the shape of a heart on my winter coat and this is the first winter I got it back out since the miscarriage. I had actually completely forgotten about the pin and it was a bit of an emotional shock to see it there on the lapel. I took a moment, remembered, gave it to God again and then wore it and remembered the comfort God provided and is still providing.

I went back and read the post this morning that I wrote on the very day we saw the lack of a heartbeat on the monitor. That day was November 18, 2009.

Arielle Genevieve was born November 18, 2010.

Talk about redemption! God is Good. All the time.

The Way it Was

Every so often I get to go out without the kids.

I got to do that this weekend and I floated about, gliding in and out of stores, feeling like I'd lost weight just because my brain was lightened from the load of : pushing a double stroller through small spaces hoping not to run over anything or knock over anything, keeping a two-year-old happy and corralled simultaneously, hoping the baby doesn't cry and bother other shoppers, hoping it doesn't look like I'm stealing because I'm putting things I want to purchase in the bottom basket of the stroller, and 7 or 8 other worries I usually have.

Instead, I compiled a list of things that I can do without my kids that seem like novelties now that my memories of being without them have almost completely faded away.

1. I can run in and out of stores. I can just be in a store a minute and pick up exactly what I need and leave. Such a pain with two kids.

2. Similar to the first, I can enter a store, decide I don't want to stay and leave instead of feeling like I need to walk around at least a few minutes more before tackling the big heavy and almost-too-small-to-fit-the-stroller-through door that I wrestled with to get into the store in the first place.

3. I can put my purse or bag in the front of the grocery cart instead of my child's bottom.

4. I can put the groceries in the cart instead of under it.

5. I can stop and stand still and stare at something as long as I like without also having to jiggle the stroller to keep the baby content.

6. I can think in complete sentances because my thoughts aren't being bombarded by one-word battering rams like "Eat?," "Play?," "Snack?," "Go home?" and the like.

7. I can stop and get myself a snack or drink and eat or drink it all myself.

Ahhh! (that's a good sigh)

Losing it

I have gone down a pant size!!

and by "gone down a pant size" I mean that I can button up the jeans that are one size smaller than the ones I've been wearing and the ones I've been wearing are more comfortable.

:)

Not Sleeping = the New Sleeping

She slept through the night three nights in a row and then began waking up at 3 or 4 am again for the past two nights.

:(

I guess the bright side is that other parents' of babies who are not yet sleeping through the night no longer need to hate me.

This is what my weekly developmental email I got today said -

What to say when other new parents tell you their baby is sleeping through the night

• I heard that not sleeping is actually the new sleeping!

• Ours, too! Wait, does two hours in a row count as through the night?

• Liar, liar, pants on fire.

Developments

We started a bit of rice cereal two days ago as a last attempt to help Arielle sleep through the night before making everyone suffer through the "cry it out" method.

First night, no luck.

Last night.... I kept waking up hearing her cry, but then realizing that she wasn't crying. Then, all of a sudden, Chuck was kissing me good bye and it was 7:30 am and neither girl was awake. What? I not only get the luxury of the baby sleeping through the night, but I also didn't have to get out of bed until 7:45.

Sweet!

Fingers crossed that tonight will be a repeat.

Updates

Arielle still isn't sleeping through the night. Her schedule is very consistent during the day, but it changes every night. She goes to bed around 8 or 8:30 pm and sometimes wakes up at 1 or 2 am and sometimes doesn't wake up until 5 am. She always eats 6 oz of formula and goes right back to sleep. She's a 15 pounder and we KNOW for a fact that she doesn't NEED to wake up and eat. If she would just eat a few more ounces during the day, maybe she wouldn't. Can't make a baby eat though.

Eden pooped on the potty for the first time a few days ago. We are not formally potty training yet, because I am happy changing diapers because that (for the most part) means I get to change them when it's convenient for me. Whereas, if we are out and she has to go and there's no diaper involved, that means I drop everything (but hopefully not the baby) and find a bathroom. Not to mention the mess of public restrooms, trying to carry the baby in the stall with us and help prop Eden up on the big seat so she didn't fall in etc, etc. No thank you. I'm getting stressed out just writing about it. She can go on the potty whenever she likes at home, but that's all for now.

Arielle had her 4 month checkup on Monday and all was well. The combination of prevacid and gentle formula seems to have all but completely taken care of her reflux and spit-up issue. I'm sure the fact that her digestive system is maturing is also contributing. She is working on rolling over and sitting up. The doc was concerned that she might favor looking to one side so much that she couldn't turn her head to the other side, but when I called her name, she swiveled that cute little head right around. No problem. She hates tummy time and doesn't really push up at all yet, which is fine, because we are trying to hold out until June to get a pro shot of her pushing up for the first of the Watch Baby Grow 4-panel. (just like we made for Eden)

The sisters are still adjusting to life with one another. Eden scares Arielle sometimes by being loud and Arielle's constant needs frustrate Eden, but they really do get along swimmingly most of the time. I thank God aloud every day for sisters so that Eden continues to think of the whole idea in a positive light. You can tell she's going to relish helping Mommy and Daddy teach Arielle all sorts of things.

Arielle is beginning to recognize the sign for milk. It's been much more natural to sign with her, as I assumed it would be. It felt kinda weird the first time around, but now that we've seen the results with Eden and we're just plain used to doing them, the signs feel more like an integrated part of how we communicate.

That's all for now. Yea for babies sleeping through me writing a whole blog post!!

Arielle's Adventure

Sisters and silliness

A Memory Book

I have begun a sort of memory book for Eden. She says so many little hilarious gems during the day and I try to remember them all to tell to Chuck when he gets home, but I thought I should take it a step further and start a journal to record her hilarity. The journal's purpose is a multi-faceted one. It is for her to look at years from now and laugh at her two-year old self. It is for her to reference if she likes when she has her own two-year old. It is for me to look back at when I need a pick-me up. It is also to require me to find something special and precious to record about her every day, even the particularly rough ones when I don't find her cute at all, and cause me to catch the bigger perspective. It is also because I just seem to be more sane when I write about my life instead of just experiencing it. Small outlets, like this blog and my new journal are healthy for me. If you're lucky, I may just share a few pages with you here every now and then. :)

An Outing

Since the mundane and every-day seems to be all I can think about, that's what I'll blog about.

I went to the grocery store this morning. That's an accomplishment with two babies. I really couldn't even wrap my brain around how to do it when Arielle was first born. Do I balance the car seat in the front of the cart and put Eden in the basket, hope she doesn't open everything I put in the cart or jump out... and try to steer by peeking around the face-level car seat? Do I put Eden in the front where she belongs and put the car seat in the basket, leaving no room for groceries? Do I sling the baby and hope she doesn't urp and soak the sling and me while I shop? Do I just use my double stroller and fill the basket underneath and the canopies with as much as I can?

Here's my solution: I put Eden in the seat in the front of the cart, Arielle in her carseat in the main part of the cart and scoot her halfway underneath Eden so about a third of the cart is available for groceries. My diaper bag goes in the narrow space between the front wheels under Eden and I put two plastic shopping baskets underneath the main part of the cart. It requires a lot of pulling up of pants and readjustment of shirts from bending over so much to put things in and organize the lower baskets, but it's really easy to take them directly from the cart to the checkout counter. So much faster! Now, I have found it to be more difficult to get the bagged groceries back into the cart to get everything to the car. Once it's bagged, it's much harder to organize it. If you enjoy Tetris, you'd enjoy this experience, but I never really got into Tetris. I just played it because it was one of the few games I had for my GameBoy.

And that's grocery shopping for me. Fascinating huh?

Arielle - 2 months old

Advances

The pediatrician told me not to compare Arielle to Eden because Eden is advanced for her age. You be the judge. :)

Video Debut

Baby smiles make everybody smile. :D

Blog? Oh Yeah, Blog.

I really do intend to blog still... Not unlike my friend over at Savvy by Design, I find myself thinking of several subjects or anecdotes to write about throughout the day, but then cannot remember what they were once I have a moment to write.

Like now.

Just wanted to let everyone know what's going on.

The blog is not defunct

only my brain.