Our (Other) Photographer

Of course, the main photographer of our family is the family photographer, my mom.  Circumstances being what they are for the birth of Arielle, we needed another option if I was going to have any professional documentation of this very important event.  I asked about 6 different Jackson area photographers if they would be interested and only ended up with three options.  The first photographer to respond positively gave me no details and wanted to talk over the phone at my earliest convenience.  Fortunately, before it was convenient, I saw a horrible review from someone who had hired them for a wedding.  I never called.  My second option was a girl whose work I really liked, but, after attempting to convince her to lower her price by explaining that my allowing her to take pictures of my birth (her first ever birth photo shoot) I would be expanding her portfolio and helping her business, she decided the timing just wasn't right.  My last option is the one I have chosen, and so far, I'm very happy.  Her name is Amy Halstead and you can see her work on her Facebook page Different Perspectives here.  We meet on Thursday to finalize details and look over the contract.  I'm relieved to have that taken care of.  That's one thing off the Things-to-do-before-the-baby-comes list.  Now all I need to do is: buy a toddler bed, get Eden sleeping in it, get the names of people I want to invite to my shower to the hostess, attend my baby shower, make sure I have all the baby essentials I need, make a couple more things for Arielle, go to two hospital tours and decide which to birth at, and, well, probably a lot more... 

One thing down, umpteen to go.

Random Rants

You know what?  I don't remember when I got all antsy to have Eden, but, as of 27 weeks, I can officially say that I am totally fine with the fact that I have between 13 and 15 weeks to go.  (Did I do my math right?  um... yes... 40-42 weeks total. ok.)  No rush.  I have to say that, just because the month in my 42nd week happens to be December, the month of Eden's birth, I really would not prefer to wait until then.  Arielle, don't you want your own birth month?

I will probably read these words and laugh at myself when I hit, say, 35 weeks.  Betcha.

I do not think I can paint my toenails any more.  At least not unless I work on my ability to go without oxygen for an extended period of time.  I cannot get close enough to my toes to paint them without losing my ability to take a breath.  Someone's in the way.  So, this means I will be using a portion of our brand new monthly budget to get a polish change for my toes a couple times between now and November, or I will just hope that the cool weather comes quickly so that I can wear close-toed shoes.

Why is labor so variable?  Why did God decide that there should be such a huge range of lengths, types, descriptions, etc?  I want to plan.  I want to know.  But I want to be all natural and just let it happen.  But I want to know when and how it will naturally happen.  

Parents Against Snaps

You've gotta watch this video if you want a little chuckle.  

Not a bad concept.... especially for an infant.

Bradley Bit

This weeks Bradley tidbit isn't just one quote, it's one of the concepts I'm supposed to practice this week.  It's called "The Miracle of Mindfulness."  The exercises are to promote awareness and to get you in touch with all five senses as well as practice focusing, blocking out unwanted clutter from your brain.

I'm supposed to be "mindful" while making a cup of tea, while washing dishes, while cleaning the house and while taking a slow-motion bath.

I can do the tea... maybe.  I'm supposed to be mindful and aware of my hand gripping the pot or cup, the weight, feel and color of it, the smell of the tea, the heat from the liquid etc.  

On to washing the dishes.  Can I just say, that WOULD be a miracle!? First of all, anyone who has a toddler knows that this is no easy task. Maybe I assume too much.  All I can really say is that with MY toddler, washing the dishes is no easy task.  She doesn't really take well to standing around in the kitchen doing nothing.  She's either trying to take things out of the dishwasher, climbing onto the open dishwasher door, asking to eat or drink, or wandering into another room where her toys are and I can't see her anymore.  I don't do dishes during naps because they clatter too much and naps are too important to disturb.  So.... dishes get done, if at all, in 2-3 minute spurts.  I do NOT have time to be mindful of anything but Eden, which might explain the crusty food that we find even after something's run through the dishwasher.  My instructions say,

"Wash the dishes relaxingly,"  (nice thought) "as though each bowl is an object of contemplation."  (I can just see me, lost in the depths of my cereal bowl as Eden runs willy-nilly with a knife from the dishwasher.) "Follow your breath to prevent your mind from straying. Do not try to hurry to get the job over with."  (HA!) "Consider washing dishes the most important thing in your life right now.  If you cannot wash the dishes in mindfulness, then neither can you meditate while sitting in silence."  

Hey, no fair!  I could TOO sit and meditate in silence without my toddler in the room.  I could meditate in silence while sitting on an overstuffed pillow in my comfiest knitwear in a room with four walls of floor-to-ceiling windows surrounded by a tranquil pool filled with lotus blossoms and water lilies overlooking the lush greenery of a secluded hillside where birds merrily sang and there was a subtle constant breeze that smelled of jasmine and... 

well... 

you catch my drift.  I could TOO meditate.

I won't even bother to go into detail about cleaning the house or taking a bath.  I do like the last thing on the page; practicing mindfulness with your kids.

"If I can take a breath and focus on them, on their entire being, on the smell of their head, on what they are saying and doing and just absorb them with every pore in my body, I find that time somehow slows down so that I can see what is essential.  And my kids pick up on it too, they calm down and really seem to appreciate my focus on them."

That's very nice.  I do want to try that one.  :) 

p.s. after reading this through again, I decided that someone stroking my hair and soft classical music needed to be included in my meditation room.  thank you.

Doctor's Visit: 26 weeks

I prayed on my way to the OB this morning.  I prayed for wisdom.  I prayed that she would hear my heart and that the Holy Spirit would interpret my words.  I didn't really know what I was going to say about the sonogram.  I had a LOT of things ready to say.  A LOT of things I could say.  I didn't know what I was actually going to say.

First of all, I have to recognize Eden for being a stellar daughter and perfect tag-along this morning.  She behaved just beautifully.  Thank you God for the blessing of a totally stress-free waiting-room time!!

I also have to mention that our time from sign-in to check-out was only about 45 minutes, which is also incredibly amazing and contributed to the stress-free-ness of the morning.  

My OB checked the heartbeat (between 120-140 bpm) and measured me (measuring right on schedule), talked about my glucose test for next time, mentioned switching to every 2 weeks for appointments and complimented Eden's happy nature.  Nothing was ever mentioned about the sonogram. I guess she just forgot.  So, I mentioned it.

All I said was "I cancelled it because I've been doing some reading preparing for my natural birth and some of the research I read made me uncomfortable with the risks.  My motto for the birth process is 'If it isn't medically needed, why do it?' and I wanted to apply that here too.  I just can't find a reason.  Can you educate me further?"  I also told her I had spoken with the nurse (whose name will not be mentioned) and she promptly said "Oh, she wouldn't even know what to tell you!"  HA!  No joke!  I'm glad she said that.

She went on to take the time to tell me that she totally respected my concerns even though, personally, she sees nothing wrong with ultrasound.  We compromised by setting up my next and last scan for my 30 week appointment instead of waiting until 32-34 weeks.  That way, she can confirm sooner rather than later whether or not the uterus has expanded past the placenta.  If it has, then, that's it.  If it hasn't, she will say no sex and not let me teach classes anymore until the birth.  She'll also want another scan.  

I can compromise.  I really appreciated her understanding and sweetness about the whole thing.  I feel like this conversation confirmed that she'll respect my wishes during the actual birth and that she'll work with me to satisfy my desire for as little intervention as possible.

Creative Co-Motion

Here are some pictures of a very pregnant me teaching some very cute kids in my very fun Creative Co-Motion movement class.  One of the moms with a great camera and some skills was kind enough to take these for me to add to my blog... and just to have.This is typical Eden, wanting to sit in my lap instead of really participating.  I was thinking about this though... I really expect more of her since I'm the teacher.  Some of the other kid's moms end up holding them part or all of the time and that's fine.  In fact, I expect it with that age and the variability of mood and naps, etc.  But I can't afford to hold Eden the whole time.  My body wouldn't allow it, first of all.  There's no way I could bounce around and be active for 30 minutes while holding the extra 20 lbs. from pregnancy and the extra 25 lbs. of Eden.  huh-uh.  And, besides, I wouldn't be able to do all the actions to the songs that I need to do to lead the class.  I'm looking forward to starting a "Sing and Sign" class at the end of the month, where I'll have the chance to just be her mom and not teacher too.
                    This is from "Five Little Ducks"... a very exagerated 

                                         "OooOVER the hill..."
                                             March, march, march!
                                              Notice the clingy daughter...

You Know...

I just got off the phone with the triage nurse about my scheduled sonogram for Wednesday.  As far as I can tell, she did NOT ask my doctor the question I asked her which was, "Why is this scan needed and is there anything that is going to change one way or another by having it?" 

 She did confirm for me that they have another standard sonogram at 34 weeks, which, in my mind, means that this one is not needed.  All she could say was something along the lines of, "Well, you know, it's very important to find out if you still have a low-lying placenta and, you know, I see on your chart here that she wanted to check it at week 26 so, you know, this is week 26 and it's important to know if anything has changed."  I asked why it was important to know if anything had changed if there's nothing that can be done about it either way.  "Well, you know, Dr. Moses wants to know the risks and, you know, most low lying placentas will have corrected themselves by 26 weeks so, you know, this is an important time to find out if that has happened."  So I went further and said, "Let's take the hypothetical situation that they find that the placenta is still low-lying, then what?"  She replies, "Well, your insurance will cover this.  You know that, right?  There's good medical cause, so, you know, it's not for no reason or anything."

Oh, ok.  Ok miss nurse.  All those "you knows" really got me feeling like I'm on the same page with you now.  You've completely convinced me of the importance of this ultrasound.

What?  I was sitting there listening with a puzzled/annoyed look on my face, occasionally waving my hands (at the imaginary person I wished was there sitting next to me on the couch) mouthing, "WHAT??" as I tried to decide whether or not to push the issue.  Do I actually not deserve a better answer than that, or does she just not know one when really pressed?  That was NOT a satisfactory answer, nor did it make any sense to me whatsoever.  It's just important because it's important?  It's important because it's on my chart?

I guess it might be important, since we found it in the other scan at 18 weeks, if I was just in constant extreme worry about it, to settle my fears by doing this scan to show that it was no longer a problem.  But I already happen to know what she told me, which is that this issue, in a majority of cases, corrects itself.  I'm not worried.  So, to allay my fears is not the reason.  The OB shouldn't really be concerned either, in my opinion, because she knows the facts as well.  If we didn't know it was low-lying at all and I began bleeding, they would ask me to come in immediately and give me a scan because of my previous miscarriage anyway.  And we DO know from my 18 week scan that it could still be low-lying, so if I started bleeding they know a probable cause and would still want to do a scan to see if the placenta was, in fact, the culprit.  

This scan is useless.  It reports nothing that can be used proactively or preventatively and does not lessen or replace the need for more scans in the future.  I just don't see any other conclusion to come to.   You know?

Belly Shot: 26 weeks

Here's my belly at 26 weeks and 2 days.  I have another ultrasound scheduled for this week, but after reading my Bradley lesson for week 2, I'm seriously considering calling and cancelling it.  It's purpose, as told to me, is to check and see if my uterus has expanded down beyond the placenta, thus diffusing any concern about placenta previa.  But, so what if it hasn't??  I'm not giving birth anytime soon... and if it hasn't, won't they just schedule another ultrasound for closer to birth?  I guess the question I need to ask is, "Is there another standard ultrasound date closer to birth that you're going to schedule regardless of the outcome of this one?"  If there is, then I might as well just have that one and skip this one.  As much as I want to see Arielle again, if there's no point, why pay for it?  and why create unneeded risk for her?  I didn't have this many ultrasounds with Eden and she and I were both fine with that.  I'm not totally against them, nor do I know whether or not there really is increased risk for things like low birth weight or pre-mature labor, but... I'm just uncomfortable with it.

My Creative Co-Motion class is going strong and I'm exhausted after it every Tuesday and Thursday.  During the class, I don't think about how much energy I'm using.  Between talking loudly to try and keep the kids attention and give directions over the music, squatting down to get on their level and do the movements and marching around in circles, carrying Eden I might add because she doesn't seem to like that part of the class, I pack a good amount of exercise into those 35 minutes.  I was doing water aerobics every Monday and Wednesday, but now, if I don't get to class Monday, there's no class for me that week, because by Wednesday, I don't even consider going.

Signing

I found this site from the blog of a friend.  We've been signing with Eden since about 6 months old and it's really been and still is an invaluable tool for communication.  I certainly plan on signing with Arielle.  It's such a habit now, I don't see how I couldn't.  

Not only has it allowed Eden to communicate her needs and desires before she could express them in words verbally, but it has also helped us to understand some of her first words.  She will, for instance, sign "milk" and say "nyoke."  And, at first, it sounded more like "no" because she didn't have the "k" sound at the end yet.  I was so glad she was signing "milk" because I would have had no idea that's what she meant.

We are starting a toddler signing class with activities and music at the end of August.  I'm really excited to start Eden in her first class.  I'm sure I'll want lots of pictures and just be that sappy proud mommy.  My baby!  in a class!

Here's the link to the signing site to find out more about American Sign Language, it's uses and benefits for all ages. 

www.labelandlearn.com

Bradley

      I was privileged to share some of my knowledge about natural childbirth with a new friend last night over dinner.  She's due next month and hasn't taken any classes or done any reading, but she's interested in trying to have a natural birth.  I lent her a couple of books and an internet article to read and we talked for a couple hours.  

      I LOVE talking about natural birth!  I feel like I have a bit of a different perspective than some women, because I had a decent to good experience birthing in a hospital with a wonderfully supportive doctor who really facilitated my natural birth experience.  I know how important finding the right physician is, and I also know that they are out there!  I think there's a lot of bitterness and malice toward the medical community from moms who want to birth naturally and especially the advocates and teachers of methods like Dr. Bradley's.  Being that I have a husband who is a doctor, and since I had a good hospital experience, I feel like I am better able to marry the two perspectives... the safety aspect of NEEDED medical interventions and the personal aspect of directing your own birthing experience.  

      Somehow, one has to enter the hospital environment understanding that interventions are the norm and often encouraged unnecessarily, knowing that you (and your husband) will have to be actively involved in your care, but still respecting the knowledge and training that the medical staff assigned to you have to offer and not disrespecting them just because they tend toward using what's available to them.  After all, they aren't really there just to sit around.  As someone birthing in a hospital, you've chosen to place yourself in the care of people trained to fix problems, in a building with medicines, machines and operating rooms.  I don't think you can go into that environment with an attitude as if you were at home in your own bed and the hospital staff invaded your home with needles and monitors asking if you wanted an epidural.

      I can also chuckle a bit at the hardcore natural birthing community because of their tendencies toward new age, feminist empowerment, and all the pride that comes with grasping at the control of doing it yourself.  I laugh to myself when I hear women talking about trusting their bodies.  I'm trusting the God who made my body to do this.  I don't trust my body.  It didn't make itself.  Puhlease sister!  Bodies can malfunction.  (helllloooo!  back to why the hospital is there with all those nurses and doctors)  

      With my exposure to modern dance and all the "weird" word pictures I've heard about sand draining from your body and releasing tension in balloons or breathing out colored air, I understand and can appreciate the use of metaphor to take the mind somewhere specific and direct the muscles of the body.  I also sympathize with the husbands who are having to come up with relaxing words to say about rainbows and meadows and how it all sounds so silly.  

      Don't know why I'm writing all this, other than it was on my mind from last night.... and I suppose I'm reminding myself to begin preparing for November.

      

      On to the title and intended subject of this post:  Chuck and I have begun our review and re-learning of the Bradley relaxation techniques we learned a couple of years ago.  I dusted off our student workbook and pulled out the huge binder of articles and exercises from our classes.  Slowly, but surely (hopefully) we'll get into a routine.  We did our relaxation work two nights ago, then forgot last night.  I also completely forgot yesterday the exercises I'm supposed to be doing a few times a day.  

      Maybe I'll try to give a favorite quote, either informative or amusing from the reading I'm doing each week.

      Here's your quote for this week from the Bradley Method Student Workbook:

"Giving birth to a baby is a physically active event, involving many special muscles and a lot of hard work.  Other animals, including dolphins, prepare for birth by exercising during pregnancy."

Wow, including dolphins!  (you must hear the facetious tone...)  I guess as someone interested in natural birth, I'm supposed to be inspired by the fact that I'm not alone in this.  I'm doing my exercises right along with the dolphin community.  I feel better.  I feel empowered.  In fact, I'm going to pretend I'm actually a dolphin in my next water aerobics class.

Ok, that's enough Sara.

Belly Shots

These are a sampling of the pictures taken by my mom, Gail Bassett of Family Moments Photography when she came to visit us in Jackson.  I'm so glad I have these.  They're definitely different than the ones we took when I had Eden in my belly.

I'm HUGE

For a little while there, I was feeling like my belly growth had slowed.  I was telling people that this was the good part of pregnancy because I look pregnant, but not huge like a whale.  I have my energy back and can still reach my extremities.   And, I don't have morning sickness, but I'm not feeling the need to eat all the time either.

I can't say the latter of any of those statements any more.  I look pregnant, very pregnant, HUGELY pregnant in my opinion.  I have grown out of shirts (and pants) I could wear a couple of weeks ago and I'm remembering the frustration of an ever fluctuating and ever shrinking wardrobe that comes with progressing pregnancy.  Things that make you feel cute and are comfy are all of a sudden squeezing you like a sausage and creating more love handles than you really have.  (right?  I don't actually have a muffin top in the back, it's just a carry-over from the belly + the ill-fitting pants)

I still have my energy... mostly.  I do feel it waning more quickly.  What I'm losing even faster is tolerance and patience.  Man, it's trying being biggo preggo with a 19 month old!  I still can reach my extremities, but I did have to ask Chuck to buckle my shoes for me this past Sunday.  I've definitely reached the point where I do NOT want to get anything laying at my feet while sitting unless I can spread my knees apart to make a place for my belly to go.  (that goes double if I'm wearing the pants that squeeze...)

I don't feel the need to eat ALL the time, just a lot of the time.  For a while there, I was pretty much eating normal meals, just slightly larger portions sometimes and maybe one snack a day.  Now, I have a couple of snacks, crave desserts like nobody's business, and can finish off those slightly larger portions and not feel full in the least.  

An aside:  Oh me oh my, did I find the absolute WORST store on Etsy.com I could have possibly found today?  yes. yes I did.  They sell sweets and usually, I would probably think "yum" and then move on and not give it a second thought.  But the pictures and descriptions are devouring my brain and making me salivate even now as I think about them.  I began wondering when the next time was that I was supposed to receive presents so I could ask for something from this store.  I have NEVER asked for food for a gift.  Why ask for something that you won't have after a couple weeks... well, with these treats it would be more like a couple days.  I just need an excuse.  My next present-getting occasion isn't until Christmas and that's much too long to wait. (Oh why can't my birthday be in August?)  Besides, I won't be pregnant any more in December.   Sigh.