I Hate Mosquitoes

Why do I bother to put perfume on in the morning on a pretty day? I have not yet learned that I will probably be out on my back porch later, watching my toddler frolic in the yard and therefore, be substituting the smell of Tropical Fresh OFF for my perfume's scent.

A Merry Heart

Go Dogs!

Shoulda, Coulda, Wooda

I should have knocked on wood...

Arielle - 5 months and sleeping

I think we've finally broken through. I write this wondering if I should knock on wood, throw salt over my shoulder and wear something green (it might help) to be sure I'm not jinxing things.

Arielle has been sleeping from about 8 pm to 6 am without waking us in the middle of the night. I don't know if she wakes up or not, but she's not crying loudly if she is waking up.

It's only been three or four nights and she has had a three night spell in the past where she slept though the night and then stopped again... but I feel like this is really for real this time.

I still don't like getting up before 7 am (really, before 8 am) but having to get up in the middle of the night for the last 5 months, give or take, has made me appreciate the opportunity to sleep from 10:30 pm to 6 am straight.

I am glad for coffee, though...

and a coffee maker...

and a microwave to reheat the coffee because I get distracted with my babies before I can drink it all.

My Baby

A friend of mine recently experienced a miscarriage. I read her story on her blog yesterday. I cried. I'm feeling the tears welling again now.

I don't think about my little one very much or very often. There isn't room enough in my brain... nor would it be healthy. Besides, I know he's being well taken care of. I do wish I could've met him here on earth, but then there's this weird reality that if I had met him, I would've never met Arielle. I can see where the idea of alternate time-lines and simultaneous realities etc. came from. It's only natural to wonder how it would be to experience BOTH options.

I keep a pin in the shape of a heart on my winter coat and this is the first winter I got it back out since the miscarriage. I had actually completely forgotten about the pin and it was a bit of an emotional shock to see it there on the lapel. I took a moment, remembered, gave it to God again and then wore it and remembered the comfort God provided and is still providing.

I went back and read the post this morning that I wrote on the very day we saw the lack of a heartbeat on the monitor. That day was November 18, 2009.

Arielle Genevieve was born November 18, 2010.

Talk about redemption! God is Good. All the time.

The Way it Was

Every so often I get to go out without the kids.

I got to do that this weekend and I floated about, gliding in and out of stores, feeling like I'd lost weight just because my brain was lightened from the load of : pushing a double stroller through small spaces hoping not to run over anything or knock over anything, keeping a two-year-old happy and corralled simultaneously, hoping the baby doesn't cry and bother other shoppers, hoping it doesn't look like I'm stealing because I'm putting things I want to purchase in the bottom basket of the stroller, and 7 or 8 other worries I usually have.

Instead, I compiled a list of things that I can do without my kids that seem like novelties now that my memories of being without them have almost completely faded away.

1. I can run in and out of stores. I can just be in a store a minute and pick up exactly what I need and leave. Such a pain with two kids.

2. Similar to the first, I can enter a store, decide I don't want to stay and leave instead of feeling like I need to walk around at least a few minutes more before tackling the big heavy and almost-too-small-to-fit-the-stroller-through door that I wrestled with to get into the store in the first place.

3. I can put my purse or bag in the front of the grocery cart instead of my child's bottom.

4. I can put the groceries in the cart instead of under it.

5. I can stop and stand still and stare at something as long as I like without also having to jiggle the stroller to keep the baby content.

6. I can think in complete sentances because my thoughts aren't being bombarded by one-word battering rams like "Eat?," "Play?," "Snack?," "Go home?" and the like.

7. I can stop and get myself a snack or drink and eat or drink it all myself.

Ahhh! (that's a good sigh)

Losing it

I have gone down a pant size!!

and by "gone down a pant size" I mean that I can button up the jeans that are one size smaller than the ones I've been wearing and the ones I've been wearing are more comfortable.

:)