Saturday, November 28, 2009

First Pro Shots


I'll show you one of the ones I'm not going to pick for the birth announcement/Christmas card.

Birth Story

Chuck has taken the baby away for a while to let me rest and Eden is napping. I will nap too, shortly, but I need a minute to unwind before sleep and I thought this might be a good time to write the birth story. It's been on my mind a lot, but I just haven't had an appropriate time or the brain power to do it. This probably won't be as eloquent as I would like. I'm just banging it out to get it out of my brain.

Just for comparison sake. With Eden, I was two weeks overdue. I had false labor the day before my actual labor began, but, other than that, no feeling of Braxton Hicks or any kind of contractions throughout the pregnancy. I was dilated 3 cm for a couple of weeks. My labor with Eden began at 4:30 am. We arrived at the hospital around 4:30 pm that same day. The nurse said I was 4 cm. I labored until around 4 am the following morning when my uterus just ran out of juice. I regressed to mild contractions every 15 minutes. I was given some glucose and pit around 8 am and had her at 4:30pm that day. 36 hours of labor total with 30 minutes of pushing.

Pretty different story with Arielle...

I'd had Braxton Hicks throughout my pregnancy, starting in my second trimester. From about 32 weeks on, I had some contractions that were more noticeable, including a series at 34 weeks that brought us in to the hospital for fear we were in pre-term labor. I got two shots and was diagnosed with irritable uterus. At 37 weeks, I had a full day of contractions. I was 1 cm dilated the week before and then at 38 weeks, I was 3 cm. So at least that day of contractions did something to further the cause.

At 39 weeks and 5 days, I called my OB with a question of whether or not my water had broken. I was leaking and I knew it wasn't incontinence. I had had an issue with that earlier on, but got serious about Kegels and took care of it (thank goodness). I was having some very mild contractions, but nothing different than almost any other day of that week. I called Chuck and told him to come home and take me to the office so they could confirm whether or not this leak was amniotic fluid. I wanted him there to back me up in case my OB freaked out on me and wanted me to stay, or, even worse, wanted to start me on pit. I just wasn't feeling strong enough to stand up for myself, by myself. I began having some more noticeable contractions on the way to the office in the car. The time was about 11:30 am.

My OB checked the fluid, but it was not from the bag of waters. She was about to tell me to just go on home, but she decided to check my cervix joking "If you're like, 6 cm or something crazy like that, I can't let you go, of course, but you're probably not." Guess what. I was 6 cm.

She told me I had to go straight to L & D and check in. I had nothing with me for the hospital. We had Eden with us, of course. Chuck took Eden and got in touch with our fantastic friend Jana to arrange for her to be picked up and watched until my Mom and Dad could make it into town. They headed out soon after on the 8 hour trip.

I headed down one story and checked myself in as my contractions got noticeably stronger. I'll spare the details of the check in process, but suffice it to say, it took a bit of time because they were super busy and also because the monitor in my room was a stationary one and I had been promised the ability to walk throughout my labor. So there was a scramble to get a different monitor as well as all the preliminary stuff that they do with everyone before you can really get settled. Chuck finally returned and began to walk with me.

We called our photographer, but she was at a funeral for her cousin a couple hours away and could not make it. Sadly, the only pictures I have are the ones Chuck took right after the birth. I was counting on the photographer to also document the time as it passed and my labor progressed, so I really am not sure of the timing of everything as it continued.

I did have to stop walking after a few hours because I was just too tired to stand up. I got a bag of glucose and Chuck encouraged me to try walking more. I did just a few more laps and then had to lie down again.

He might remember better than I how long the barely manageable contractions lasted before the actual birth. I had forgotten the pain. I remembered when I was experiencing it again. Oh yes, I recalled it from the first time. I had hoped that since I was already 6 cm and was still walking and laughing with minimal discomfort, that somehow miraculously, I would be one of those stories you hear of the women who had light labor and then the baby popped out. No no no. NOT the case here.

I had a long and VERY rough transition. Chuck had to talk to me so that I could focus on something outside of my body. I had to squish my cheek into his hand to try to relax SOME part of my body and to feel something other than the pain. My uterus was serious this time and I needed no pitocin. One thing that was definitely different was that I had longer breaks between the terribleness than I did when I was on pit. Recovery time. And it was just enough for me to stay somewhat sane. My battle was definitely both with a fatigued body and mind. My will was not strong and without my husband there to keep telling me that each contraction was bringing Arielle that much closer to us, I would surely have screamed for some pain medication.

I finally began grunting at the tail end of contractions. My body was getting ready to push. I was SOOOOOoooooo ready to get this baby OUT. I was 9 cm with a lip that was swelling. My OB had left for the day and another came in to take her place. She checked me and (oh the agony) left her fingers there to feel what my contractions were doing. She went ahead and pushed that lip out of the way and told me that I could begin pushing on the next contraction.

"Alright, let's do this!" I thought. With two pushes, my water broke. The OB was being very calming and encouraging about the whole thing. She told me to just let her know when I was ready for another push. I was really grateful for that. I didn't want to be told to push, I wanted my body to do it. She was all about letting my body guide what was happening. She praised me when my water broke. "You did it all by yourself! Good job. Good job!" At this point, she had been very casually sitting at the foot of the bed speaking in her soothing voice. When my water broke, she moved down to the traditional spot and let me push again. I pushed mighty hard and got some great feedback. Lots of encouragement and an offer to let me see in the mirror what was going on down there. I wasn't sure I wanted to see, because last time, all I saw was a little sliver of a head and it was kind-of discouraging. I decided I shouldn't miss the opportunity though and when I looked, I saw a full circle of dark hair on my baby's head. Yes! I was doing this! With new determination added to what I already felt, I pushed again with all my might.
"STOP! stop Stop STOP!!!" everyone seemed to yell at once. "No, no, I can't stop now! Not here! Not now. Not at the 'ring of fire." I thought, frantic to get past this most painful part. I could see that she was out up to her eyebrows and all I could think was "Why!? Why do I have to stop here in this torturous part!?" The doctor and nurses were still yelling at me to wait... something about needing to be stretched. I had a tiny grateful moment. I didn't want to tear again and my OB two years ago hadn't tried any kind of counter pressure or massage. But as I continued to feel the extreme burn, (and scream like a banchee... maybe more like a banchee getting her arm chopped off with a dull axe) I decided I didn't care. I recovered last time, I'll recover again.

So, I pushed.

More protests. Chuck got right over the top of me and grabbed my shoulders and strongly told me to listen to him. I mustered all the focus I had and looked in his eyes. "They're NOT READY yet! Don't push!" he said. "What!?" I thought, "Not ready? I'm waiting in unbearable pain because they're not ready!? Well, they can just catch her in their bare hands!! What's the worst that can happen? She's not going to end up on the floor like all those babies on that 'I didn't know I was pregnant' show."

So, I pushed.

"You HAVE to stop!" everyone yelled. So, I screamed and hoped desperately that the pain would escape through my voice.

After what seemed like an hour, I became aware that I was being told that it was ok to push. So, I pushed... and out came her head. What a relief. I've never felt such relief in my whole life. It was marvelous. One more push and out came her shoulders and the rest of her and then, in an instant she was on my belly.

The whole pushing phase took less than 15 minutes, but more seemed to happen in that 15 minutes than in the previous 9 hours.

Yep, 9 hours from start to finish. That's a whole lot better than 36 hours.... but, then again, it took 9 hours to get from 6 to 10, which still seems pretty ridiculous to me.

That's all I've got in me for now. I hope that satisfies some of you curious ones out there.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Crazy Talk

So, I was lying in bed resting while Eden was in playpen time. It's been a particularly rough day. I've been in pain for most of the day from pressure Arielle is putting on me. In fact, both my girls were relentless. Arielle on my body and Eden on my sanity. Eden's been repeating words about 50 more times than usual. The whole day has been about watching TV ("PB") or eating ("befas?" "nuch?" "nack?" "ninnah?" "eat, eat, eat, eat..."). I'm just worn thin. My mind is going. Of course, where it goes is to labor.
As I lay thinking about each little twinge I felt and hoping it would turn into a contraction, I decided that I needed to shift my focus to my Creator. I began thanking Him for keeping Arielle safe and for keeping her growing strong and healthy inside me. You might remember, we thought she might come early. I reminded myself that complaining about her still being in there when I'm not even 40 weeks is pretty ridiculous. After all, there are plenty of moms who have had premature babies who would love to be ...
Is that a contraction? It feels like a contraction. My belly's kinda tight.
Come on uterus. Is that all you got!? That little bitty, tiny, miniscule stretchy feeling is the best you can muster!? Get real. I can take it. Give it to me. Give it to me!

sigh

Thank you God that you made my body for this job and for your perfect timing. Thank you for your omniscience in this circumstance. Help me to trust You and remember that you know ALL the circumstances surrounding Arielle's birth. You know about the things I can't possibly know. I want Your best....

Was that another attempt at a contraction? No, no, no, please keep going. Please? I'll relax. Look. I'm not getting excited. You can keep going. Really. Give me a good one. Nice and strong. I'll handle it like a champ. Try me!

sigh

Man. I can't stand this teasing. What's Eden yelling about? Wait. (Thump, thump, thump, thump) Ugh! She climbed out of the playpen! Now I've got to get up and put her back.

Stay in your playpen until playpen time is over, please.

sigh

Now, where was I...

Yes folks. That is how it went. From frustration with my daughter, to thanking God, to taunting my uterus, to refocusing on God, to begging my uterus to frustration with my daughter. It all ended with me going through almost the entire routine again and realizing that I had been listening to her repeat the word "wait" for about ten minutes straight. She was telling herself she had to wait to get out of playpen time. Guess who else has to wait...

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Belly Shot: 38 weeks












Arielle is sitting on the couch between my legs...

Nothing Yet

No more contractions.
sigh.

Plus... I think she's flipped. It feels like she might be breech now.
No worries. She knows she better be head down when she decides to come out.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Clarity

There is nothing very clear at all about labor, unless it slaps you upside the uterus with undeniably painful contractions right from the start. There's Braxton Hicks (had those), irritable uterus (had that), pre-term labor (past the threat of that), false labor (whooppee! having that today!) and the real thing (still waiting... obviously). I started having mild contractions around 6am this morning and they continued through around noon. I looked up the definition of false labor, even though I knew I would find nothing helpful. I thought, "Maybe I've just forgotten and there really is a key indicator of whether or not this is false labor." Nice try. Basically, the difference between false and real can only be known after the fact. If you continue to develop contractions stronger and closer together, congratulations! It's real labor. If contractions never intensify, then stop, it was false labor.
So, dress rehearsal today, I guess. It used to be, back in my performing days that if the dress rehearsal stunk, the show was good, so I'm ready for a good show.... whenever the star decides she's ready to enter the stage.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

The Blessing of Sameness

This is my last evening with a baby that's not technically full term according to medical standards. I'm 38 weeks tomorrow and so unbelievably blessed to have come this far. God is good. All the time.
Every OB appointment is pretty much a carbon copy of the last. I didn't post about my last one, which was last Wednesday and I had another today, which I almost forgot to post about. Basically, I go in (during the 8 o'clock hour, if possible... takes MUCH less time total), wait a few minutes to be told to go back to triage. Weight - gettin' on up there. Blood pressure - excellent. Urine sample - some proteins, but not rising in count. Wait for the doc a few minutes and sing or look at a magazine with Eden. Doc arrives, gushes about Eden, and asks how I feel. I feel big and pregnant and ready to have a baby. Heartbeat - in the 140's - 150's. Fundal height - right on track. Cervix check? No thank you.
See you next week. :)

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Natural Birth

I was looking up some natural birth videos for my friend who wanted some inspiration and training by way of seeing successes. I realized as I watched that I needed some inspiration too. It was truly wonderful to be reminded of the sweetness of my first birth and it was good to be reminded of the pain while seeing women work through it to their wonderful reward. I wrote a free verse poem while in high school that comes to mind.

Reward

A gasp and a sigh of relief as a shrill cry is heard
The mother's painstaking efforts
Are rewarded by the baby in her arms.

One video in particular was my favorite and I'd like to share. It's pretty long and, unless you just love watching birth videos, you may not want to bother clicking. But if you love births, need some inspiration for your own or are interested in seeing a beautifully documented photo/video/scripture/music compilation of a Christian family's birth experience... then click here.

Monday, November 2, 2009

5 Minutes of Fun and Funny

Here's another video of the cutest child I have had so far. :)
Keep in mind that I am using the Mac to video, so, especially toward the end when I'm trying to follow her around the room, I can't see at all what I'm filming. I'm just guessing and pointing the computer towards her as it sits in my lap, so sometimes her head gets cut off or she goes out of the frame for a second.
I started filming her because she was using the little thingy (anyone know what it's called?) that came with her xylophone to hit it to make the notes... as a microphone. Wow, that sentence was amazing. This post isn't about writing, ok? It's about the cuteness you are soon to experience.
Anyway, I don't know where she's even seen anyone use a microphone, but we had the music channel playing on the TV and she was pretending to sing with the songs.
I couldn't get her to do it once she saw her image real time on the computer screen, but I caught some other frolicking and fun.
Enjoy!